Nestled in the mountains of the Tien-Shan range is Kyrgyzstan, home to Kyrgyz, a proud people, who once used to lead a nomadic lifestyle. Kyrgyzstan has been veiled in mystery and somewhat isolated from the rest of the world for decades. Its culture, adorned with the elements of Turkic, Mongol and Russian heritage, has drawn attention of curious scholarly minds. Not all its traits, though, deserve praise and admiration.
Bride kidnapping has been practiced by Kyrgyz for many years as an integral part of culture. Presumably when Kyrgyz were still a nomadic tribe, bride kidnapping was the last resort of young couples whose parents would not favor their marital union. Just like any other social or cultural phenomenon, this tradition has gone through changes in the course of time and sadly adapted a more disturbing character.
So how exactly does this bizarre tradition work in modern times?
Usually a young man, mature enough to tie the wedding knot, spots an eligible young lady and approaches her. Having ensured she is a right match, he then asks his friends to help him organize the undertaking. The usual scenario involves the girl coming back from work or school and the gang spying on her. At the right moment, they just grab and shove her into the car and head to the future groom’s house.
All the way to the groom’s place, the poor victim begs to be let go, curses her bad luck and cries her eyes out. But her kidnappers remain deaf to her pleas. Once they reach the destination, where the party is in full swing, one of the honorable matriarchs of the clan covers her head with a white kerchief, which manifests the beginning of the matrimonial union.
This is the most classic scenario of bride kidnapping. There are many other versions depending on different factors. In some cases, young men resort to this method under pressure of their family or because a frail financial situation – bride kidnapping is considered to be a much less expensive way of obtaining a wife.
In most cases, kidnapped girls feel obliged to stay in order not to defame the good name of the family. There is a general belief that the girl who has been kidnapped is not pure anymore although she may not have had any sexual relationship with her abductor. Yet some young women, strong enough not to care about social prejudice, leave whatever circumstances this act may present.
Culture is an integral part of national identity. It should be carefully preserved and treated with respect. However, do we have to tolerate such traditions as bride kidnapping? Do we have to ruin young women’s lives just for the sake of preserving one tradition while there are many other beautiful customs?
References:
Kyrgyzstan: Bride-Kidnapping, Domestic Abuse Rampant, September 26, 2006
Visual Studies 2007 Vol. 22 (2), Bride Kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan, Petr Lom
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